The Shopping Cart Tragedy: A Lesson on commUNITY

Written by Hunter Tarry

Thud! I closed my eyes and took a breath, hoping the glass bowl would still be sitting on the shelf. I opened my eyes and to my horror, it was shattered in a million pieces on the floor.

Just moments before, I was casually pushing my son in the shopping cart through a crowded store. Other shoppers lined the aisles looking for the best after Christmas deals. As I found some items I was interested in, I stopped the cart and beginning rummaging through the table of things. With people all around, I noticed my son pulling a glass bowl off the counter. Quickly I turned around and caught his arm. “You weren’t fast enough this time!” I said, laughing. He shot me a wicked smile as I placed the bowl back on the table. I then grabbed the handles of the cart and began to push him away. With lightning speed he shot his hand back towards the bowl and knocked it off the table. Thud!

Embarrassed, I quickly got on the ground and started to pick up the pieces. Pausing momentarily, I looked around hoping that someone would come to my aid. To my dismay, the other shoppers that were just feet from me a few seconds before had completely vanished. I tried to gather as many pieces as I could and then quickly found some workers, who told me not to worry about it.

One of the benefits of living in our day and age is the way technology allows us to be connected with people everywhere. In the 21st century, you can call someone across the globe and speak in real-time. Social media, hashtags and optimized search engines help you find thousands of people with similar interests to you in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, this boom of technology has also contributed to decreasing connectivity in our real life, face-to-face communities. I’d like to think that many of the people in the store that day might have shared one of those “feel good stories” that often find their way onto our Facebook news feeds… but when it came down to it in the real world, every single one of them walked away from an opportunity to reach out and serve a total stranger. Have we forgotten what it actually means to be a part of a community?

A Thought from the Ancients

Aristotle begins one of his most famous books with an account of how communities developed among our ancestors. First, he claims that individuals combine into pairs because they cannot “exist without one another”. These pairs then reproduce and create households for the purpose of sustaining daily life. As the family expands, multiple families join together into villages. Because the group is now larger, people can specialize in their abilities (cooking food, killing animals, medicine, etc.) and life becomes more comfortable. The most important change, however, is when several villages come together and form a city:

“(The city) reaches a level of full self-sufficiency, so to speak; and while coming into being for the sake of living, it exists for the sake of living well” (Aristotle).

What does it mean to live well? For many of us, that means having a modest home, professional success, and satisfaction in family life. To Aristotle, however, it meant fulfilling our telos, or purpose. What is our purpose as humans, then? I won’t go into all the political theory that Aristotle would want me to, but he basically argues the purpose of our life is eudaimonia (happiness) through the constant, active pursuit of virtue. Aristotle goes onto say,

“Any polis [city with government] which is truly so called, and is not merely one in name, must devote itself to the end of encouraging goodness. Otherwise, a political association sinks into a mere alliance… otherwise, too, law becomes a mere covenent… ‘a guarantor of men’s rights against one another’ – instead of being, as it should be, a rule of life such as will make the members of a polis good and just.”

Do our communities and governments encourage goodness? Do our current community cultures, standards, and laws help to make all of us better and more honorable people? I’d like to think in many ways they do, but personally I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of selfishness among citizens, politicians, and laws alike.

According to Aristotle, it is our privilege and responsibility to encourage goodness, fight for justice, and partake in the happiness of life with the members of our community. While Aristotle was focusing on the political nature of communities, his words apply to nearly any way you think about the people around you. A community can be as small as the people who live on your street, attend your church, or live in your neighborhood. They can also be as large as your state, country, or even planet. As you think about community, I hope you realize the impact you can have on it, and the impact it can have on you.

CommUNITY: Part of a Healthy Routine

Did you know that time and time again, research finds various health benefits to community belonging? People who feel connected to their community are more likely to report more positive mental health (Palis, Marchand, & Oviedo-Joekes, 2018). Not only that, but they are also more likely to report better physical health (Ross, 2002). Even after taking other variables into account, researchers find that people who report ties to the community actually experience lower rates of disease and death than those who don’t (Berkman & Syme, 1979).

These benefits only come as you put yourself out there. In 2019, it’s easier than ever to hide away from the world and live in social isolation. Being a part of your community requires branching out. Sometimes it requires sacrificing the easy, comfortable, and routine for the difficult and unfamiliar. But like Aristotle said, the end goal is happiness. By being an active member of your community, you can help others find happiness and experience it for yourself along the way. How can you be a better member of your community? A few simple examples:

*Neighborhood/apartment complex: It’s as easy as a smile or wave. Reach out, get to know the people around you! Go to neighborhood events and say hello to others. You might be wishing someone would say hello to you… but turns out, that’s what everyone is actually hoping for!

*City/State: Find groups or clubs that meet for things you enjoy, like choir, dancing, babywearing, basketball, etc. Support local farmers markets or trade shows.

*Political: Get informed about the candidates, laws, etc. VOTE. Share your beliefs and ask others about theirs.

*Online: Support a friend’s new blog. Like, subscribe, and share posts of a growing community page (like ours :D).

Be the hero in someone else’s shopping cart tragedy. For the next week, look for small ways to serve others, especially those you don’t know. Put yourself out there! If you are intentional about serving others, opportunities will arise. Strive to meet them instead of running away! We can’t wait to hear about your experiences.

References

Berkman, L. F., Syme L. (1979). Social networks, host resistance, and mortality: a nine-year follow-up study of Alameda County residents. American Journal of Epidemiology, 109, 186-204.

Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. (n.d.) The Purpose of the City. Retrieved January 21, 2019, from https://www.iep.utm.edu/aris-pol/#H7

Justice by Michael Sandel

Palis, H., Marchand, K., & Oviedo-Joekes, E. (2018). The relationship between sense of community belonging and self-rated mental health among Canadians with mental or substance use disorders. Journal of Mental Health, 1-8.

Ross, N. (2002) Community belonging and health. Health Reports, 13(3).

Hunter Tarry is from Gilbert, Arizona. Hunter graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development with a minor in psychology. Married for just over three years, Hunter and her husband Joseph recently became a family of three. Hunter currently cares for her son, Joseph, full-time. Her  research interests include all things political, the impact of law on marriage, families, and children, aging across the lifespan and families during transitory periods. Hunter enjoys photography, volleyball, trying new restaurants with her husband, watching Jeopardy, and finding new ways to make her son laugh.