commUNITY

The American Melting Pot: Maintaining Your Cultural Identity and Supporting Immigrants

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Cover photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on Unsplash 

Written by McKay Strong
“We’re part of a community. Our strength is our diversity. A shelter from adversity. All are welcome here.” – All Are Welcome Here by Alexandra Penfold
Pioneer Day is a holiday celebrated annually on July 24th in Utah, USA, celebrating the state and surrounding areas settled by pioneers. In recognition of today’s holiday, I wanted to talk about a different kind of pioneer: those who leave their countries and cultures and come to a completely different one. My mom wasn’t born in the United States — in fact, she didn’t move here until she was in her 30’s. She came alone, and although she did already speak the English language, she left everything and essentially everyone she knew behind in South America. I can only imagine how difficult it is being an immigrant to the United States of America, but something that I really appreciate about my mother and how she raised us is that she was able to keep her culture alive in our home.
Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels
I know that this can be a sensitive topic — some people immigrate and want to leave their home behind for whatever reason. They wish to assimilate fully and completely and that is okay. But today, I wanted to share some research on those who have moved to a new place and still want to celebrate and share their culture with those they love.
If you are someone who is working on finding their place within a new culture, here are some thoughts on how you can avoid losing your unique cultural identity:

1. Keep in touch with your loved ones.

Make an effort to keep in touch with both family and friends in your home country. This is a big way to stay connected to your heritage — maintaining relationships with people who are still living in the home you left can help you have a little bit of home where you are.
Photo by Gyan Shahane on Unsplash

2. Make your new home feel like home.

Fill your new home with pictures and family heirlooms. Cook recipes from your home country. Listen to music in your native language. Just because your home is in a new location doesn’t mean your home shouldn’t feel like home! Tangible items around you can help you feel grounded and remind you of your cultural identity.
Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

3. Find people who share your cultural background.

Whether it means joining a new church or going to city events that recognize your culture, find a way to meet people who know what you know. Chances are, you won’t be the only one who has left your home country! Research even shows that youth programs help adolescents socialize among their cultures (Iturbide et al., 2019). 

4. Celebrate your culture.

Invite friends from your new home to celebrate traditional holidays with you. Participate in multicultural events at your child’s school. Share your culture and be proud of it!
Photo by Chris Boyer on Unsplash
If you’re reading this and live in the same country you were born in, here are a few things you can do to support immigrants in celebrating their native cultures:

1. Never assume.

You may not know why someone left their native country, nor is it your right to know. So don’t assume that you know why they immigrated. Don’t assume their life was a certain way at their old home. And definitely don’t assume you know how they should assimilate best. All you need to do is be there to support them in whatever way they need support.
Photo by mentatdgt from Pexels

2. Ask thoughtful questions.

Moving to a new place can be lonely and when the culture is so incredibly different from what a person or family is used to, it can be terrifying to try and meet new people. If you know someone in your neighborhood, your work, your child’s school, wherever, that is from another country, don’t be afraid to talk to them. I can almost guarantee that they need the love and support you can offer. Invite them to activities and get to know them just as you would any new neighbor. Be sure to take an interest in their culture and customs, because chances are, they would love to talk about them and share them with you. Ask thoughtful questions, and make an effort to get to know the individual/family as well as where they came from. They’re likely homesick, and any way you can make this new place feel like home for them would be greatly appreciated. You may even make a new friend and find a new interest in a culture different from your own!
Photo by Chait Goli from Pexels

3. Avoid appropriation.

Cultural appropriation is the use of elements of a minority’s culture, often in a way that doesn’t respect the element’s original significance or recognize where it came from. As previously mentioned, America is a melting pot, and that’s something to celebrate, but it can cross into cultural appropriation when it turns exploitive. One example of cultural appropriation is sugar skulls used to decorate American homes around Halloween. Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is not “Mexican Halloween,” it is a celebration of the lives of lost loved ones with roots going back to the Aztecs. The calaveras, or skulls, are displayed alongside pictures of those that have passed on. “They include beautiful flowers and designs to show that death shouldn’t be feared or shown in a morbid light” (Moreno, 2016), and are an important way to demonstrate respect and honor for deceased loved ones. So you can see why using such sacred parts of an ancient tradition to decorate your home in America for Halloween can seem incredibly disrespectful to those who observe Dia de los Muertos. That is cultural appropriation to a “T”. The best way to fight cultural appropriation? Take the time to educate yourself, listen to those who are among the culture these elements belong to, and once you’ve learned, educate others who may be misinformed as well.
Photo by Askar Abayev from Pexels
Something that makes America so great is our diversity. It’s really something to celebrate! People come from all over the world to live in the United States of America, and we’ll miss out if we just expect them to assimilate and don’t get to know about where they came from.
Furthermore, adapting to a new environment doesn’t mean that you have to let go of your old customs. Leaving your home should not have to mean leaving behind who you are – and culture is an important part of that. 
This week, make an effort to learn about a different culture from your own. If you know someone who has recently immigrated to your country, find ways to connect and help them feel welcome.

References

Ayón, C., & Villa, A. Q. (2013). Promoting Mexican immigrant families’ well-being: Learning from parents what is needed to have a strong family. Families in Society, 94(3), 194–202. https://doi.org/10.1606/1044-3894.4315
Bhavnagri, N., & Kamash, S. (2019). A Mother Promotes Cognitive and Affective Outcomes via Museum Education on Arab American Immigrants’ Culture: A Vygotskian Perspective. School Community Journal, 29, 87-116.
El-Awad, U., Fathi, A., Vasileva, M., Petermann, F., & Reinelt, T. (2021). Acculturation orientations and mental health when facing post-migration stress: Differences between unaccompanied and accompanied male Middle Eastern refugee adolescents, first- and second-generation immigrant and native peers in Germany. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 82, 232-246.
Iturbide, M. I., Gutiérrez, V., Munoz, L., & Raffaelli, M. (2019). “They Learn to Convivir”: Immigrant Latinx Parents’ Perspectives on Cultural Socialization in Organized Youth Activities. Journal of Adolescent Research, 34(3), 235–260. https://doi.org/10.1177/0743558418777827
Lindert, A.T., Korzilius, H., Stupar-Rutenfrans, S., & Vijver, F.J. (2021). The role of perceived discrimination, intergroup contact and adoption in acculturation among four Dutch immigrant groups. International Journal of Intercultural Relations.
Moreno, N. (2016, October 24). The History of Dia de los Muertos and Why You Shouldn’t Appropriate it. Wear Your Voice. https://www.wearyourvoicemag.com/history-dia-de-los-muertos-appropriate/. 

 

McKay Strong is a Texas native. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. McKay works full-time at a local nonprofit, has been married for three years, and recently gave birth to her daughter. She is a proud Ravenclaw and an even prouder cat mom. McKay is passionate about self-love, body positivity, healthy sexuality, and breaking the stigma against mental illnesses. Also, Harry Potter.
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How Tragedy Can Bring Us Together

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Written by McKay Strong
It seems that we are constantly being bombarded with bad news; there was a school shooting. A hurricane hit harder than we initially thought. A beloved former teacher died. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that tragedy will strike, and sometimes, it’ll strike without warning.
I have had my fair share of heartbreak — as I’m sure we all have — and despite the agonizing, unbearable pain that I’ve experienced, I have slowly come to accept that there are benefits to tragedy. Believe me, this is not me asking for more suffering to come my way (please, no), but I have seen myself and those around me grow and become closer because of the trials we’ve faced together.
When it comes to dealing with tragedy, individuals often possess their own spiritual and cultural traditions, which play a large part in the coping process (Aranda & Knight 1997). It’s not unusual for people to ask “why us?” or “who is to blame?” In order to fully gain perspective while experiencing tragedy, we need to make sense of the traumatic event and be aware of any repercussions that may come as a result (Walsh 2007).
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Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash
Through a traumatic event, however, it is essential to maintain a positive outlook. Hope is vital for recovery. Hope fuels energies and investment to rebuild lives, revise dreams, renew attachments, and create positive legacies to pass on to future generations (Walsh 2007). Being able to trust in the future and trust in yourself will help facilitate the feeling of security to return back into your life.

The Power of Resilience

The semester after we suddenly lost my sister, I took a class called Family Adaptation and Resiliency. I chose this course very purposefully — I had always planned on taking it, but I knew that I needed it sooner rather than later. Throughout the course of the semester, we read about and walked through just about every tragedy that a family could experience. Divorce, death, natural disaster, job loss and other financial strains…the list goes on and on. No matter the stressor, however, it was drilled into my head that families could recover. Not only that, but families could end up stronger than they were before. This is the true meaning of resilience: not only bouncing back but using these difficulties to improve relationships as well.
Resilience isn’t limited to an individual or a family, however. It can be seen in a community as well! So many tragedies strike on a larger scale, and through an intentional response to trials, an entire community — a city, a state, a nation — can be brought together. Although arguably none of us want to go through tragedy, it’s important to remember that when hard things happen, we have a choice. We can choose to be stuck in the tragedy, or we can choose to work towards resilience and draw closer together. Through tragedy, a family or community system can become more refined than ever before. “Resilience involves ‘mastering the possible,’ coming to accept what has been lost and cannot be changed, while directing efforts to what can be done and seizing opportunities for something good to come out of the tragedy” (Murphy, Johnson, & Lohan 2002). Achieving resilience is not a simple task, but through communication and being aware of needs and emotions, it is possible.
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Photo by Perry Grone on Unsplash
Studies have found that one of the most important ways to foster acceptance and hope following a tragedy is the ability to seek comfort and reassurance with others. Walsh put it best when he said, “Times of great tragedy can bring out the best in the human spirit: ordinary people show extraordinary courage, compassion, and generosity in helping kin, neighbors, and strangers to recover and rebuild lives.”
Tips for fostering community resilience:
  • Acknowledge the trauma and verify facts
  • Find meaning through memorial rituals, tributes, etc.
  • Rebuild lives, homes, etc. through community reorganization
  • Create new life plans and dreams
Personal Practice 1Journal about a tragedy you have experienced in your life, and how it has affected who you are today. If you feel comfortable opening up, seek out members of your community that could use your support and personal experience in their own healing process.

References

Manyena, Bernard, et al. “Disaster resilience: a bounce back or bounce forward ability?.” Local Environment: The International Journal of Justice and Sustainability 16.5 (2011): 417-424.
Aranda, M. P., & Knight, B. G. (1997). The influence of ethnicity and culture on the caregiver stress and coping process: A sociocultural review and analysis. The Gerontologist, 37(3), 342-354.
Murphy, S. A., Johnson, L. C., & Lohan, J. (2002). The aftermath of the violent death of a child: An integration of the assessments of parents’ mental distress and PTSD during the first 5 years of bereavement. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 7(3), 203–222. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1080/10811440290057620
Walsh, F. (2007). Traumatic Loss and Major Disasters: Strengthening Family and Community Resilience. Family Process, 46(2), 207–227. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2007.00205.x

 

 

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McKay Strong is from Texas. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life. A super experienced wife of a year, McKay works full-time at a local nonprofit and has more side hustles than she should (she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life). She is a proud Ravenclaw and an even more proud cat mom. McKay is passionate about self-love, body positivity, healthy sexuality, and breaking the stigma against mental illnesses. Also, Harry Potter.
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The Shopping Cart Tragedy: A Lesson on commUNITY

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Written by Hunter Tarry
Thud! I closed my eyes and took a breath, hoping the glass bowl would still be sitting on the shelf. I opened my eyes and to my horror, it was shattered in a million pieces on the floor.
Just moments before, I was casually pushing my son in the shopping cart through a crowded store. Other shoppers lined the aisles looking for the best after Christmas deals. As I found some items I was interested in, I stopped the cart and beginning rummaging through the table of things. With people all around, I noticed my son pulling a glass bowl off the counter. Quickly I turned around and caught his arm. “You weren’t fast enough this time!” I said, laughing. He shot me a wicked smile as I placed the bowl back on the table. I then grabbed the handles of the cart and began to push him away. With lightning speed he shot his hand back towards the bowl and knocked it off the table. Thud!
Embarrassed, I quickly got on the ground and started to pick up the pieces. Pausing momentarily, I looked around hoping that someone would come to my aid. To my dismay, the other shoppers that were just feet from me a few seconds before had completely vanished. I tried to gather as many pieces as I could and then quickly found some workers, who told me not to worry about it.
One of the benefits of living in our day and age is the way technology allows us to be connected with people everywhere. In the 21st century, you can call someone across the globe and speak in real-time. Social media, hashtags and optimized search engines help you find thousands of people with similar interests to you in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, this boom of technology has also contributed to decreasing connectivity in our real life, face-to-face communities. I’d like to think that many of the people in the store that day might have shared one of those “feel good stories” that often find their way onto our Facebook news feeds… but when it came down to it in the real world, every single one of them walked away from an opportunity to reach out and serve a total stranger. Have we forgotten what it actually means to be a part of a community?
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Photo from pexels.com

A Thought from the Ancients

Aristotle begins one of his most famous books with an account of how communities developed among our ancestors. First, he claims that individuals combine into pairs because they cannot “exist without one another”. These pairs then reproduce and create households for the purpose of sustaining daily life. As the family expands, multiple families join together into villages. Because the group is now larger, people can specialize in their abilities (cooking food, killing animals, medicine, etc.) and life becomes more comfortable. The most important change, however, is when several villages come together and form a city:
“(The city) reaches a level of full self-sufficiency, so to speak; and while coming into being for the sake of living, it exists for the sake of living well” (Aristotle).
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Photo from pexels.com
What does it mean to live well? For many of us, that means having a modest home, professional success, and satisfaction in family life. To Aristotle, however, it meant fulfilling our telos, or purpose. What is our purpose as humans, then? I won’t go into all the political theory that Aristotle would want me to, but he basically argues the purpose of our life is eudaimonia (happiness) through the constant, active pursuit of virtue. Aristotle goes onto say,
“Any polis [city with government] which is truly so called, and is not merely one in name, must devote itself to the end of encouraging goodness. Otherwise, a political association sinks into a mere alliance… otherwise, too, law becomes a mere covenent… ‘a guarantor of men’s rights against one another’ – instead of being, as it should be, a rule of life such as will make the members of a polis good and just.”
Do our communities and governments encourage goodness? Do our current community cultures, standards, and laws help to make all of us better and more honorable people? I’d like to think in many ways they do, but personally I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of selfishness among citizens, politicians, and laws alike.
According to Aristotle, it is our privilege and responsibility to encourage goodness, fight for justice, and partake in the happiness of life with the members of our community. While Aristotle was focusing on the political nature of communities, his words apply to nearly any way you think about the people around you. A community can be as small as the people who live on your street, attend your church, or live in your neighborhood. They can also be as large as your state, country, or even planet. As you think about community, I hope you realize the impact you can have on it, and the impact it can have on you.

CommUNITY: Part of a Healthy Routine

Did you know that time and time again, research finds various health benefits to community belonging? People who feel connected to their community are more likely to report more positive mental health (Palis, Marchand, & Oviedo-Joekes, 2018). Not only that, but they are also more likely to report better physical health (Ross, 2002). Even after taking other variables into account, researchers find that people who report ties to the community actually experience lower rates of disease and death than those who don’t (Berkman & Syme, 1979).
several people watching the sunrise in the middle of forest
Photo by Daan Stevens on Unsplash
These benefits only come as you put yourself out there. In 2019, it’s easier than ever to hide away from the world and live in social isolation. Being a part of your community requires branching out. Sometimes it requires sacrificing the easy, comfortable, and routine for the difficult and unfamiliar. But like Aristotle said, the end goal is happiness. By being an active member of your community, you can help others find happiness and experience it for yourself along the way. How can you be a better member of your community? A few simple examples:
*Neighborhood/apartment complex: It’s as easy as a smile or wave. Reach out, get to know the people around you! Go to neighborhood events and say hello to others. You might be wishing someone would say hello to you… but turns out, that’s what everyone is actually hoping for!
*City/State: Find groups or clubs that meet for things you enjoy, like choir, dancing, babywearing, basketball, etc. Support local farmers markets or trade shows.
*Political: Get informed about the candidates, laws, etc. VOTE. Share your beliefs and ask others about theirs.
*Online: Support a friend’s new blog. Like, subscribe, and share posts of a growing community page (like ours :D).

Personal Practice 1

Be the hero in someone else’s shopping cart tragedy. For the next week, look for small ways to serve others, especially those you don’t know. Put yourself out there! If you are intentional about serving others, opportunities will arise. Strive to meet them instead of running away! We can’t wait to hear about your experiences.

References

Berkman, L. F., Syme L. (1979). Social networks, host resistance, and mortality: a nine-year follow-up study of Alameda County residents. American Journal of Epidemiology, 109, 186-204.
Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. (n.d.) The Purpose of the City. Retrieved January 21, 2019, from https://www.iep.utm.edu/aris-pol/#H7
Justice by Michael Sandel
Palis, H., Marchand, K., & Oviedo-Joekes, E. (2018). The relationship between sense of community belonging and self-rated mental health among Canadians with mental or substance use disorders. Journal of Mental Health, 1-8.
Ross, N. (2002) Community belonging and health. Health Reports, 13(3).

 

 

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Hunter Tarry is from Gilbert, Arizona. Hunter graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development with a minor in psychology. Married for just over three years, Hunter and her husband Joseph recently became a family of three. Hunter currently cares for her son, Joseph, full-time. Her  research interests include all things political, the impact of law on marriage, families, and children, aging across the lifespan and families during transitory periods. Hunter enjoys photography, volleyball, trying new restaurants with her husband, watching Jeopardy, and finding new ways to make her son laugh.
 
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commUNITY – Why It Matters

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Opinion Piece Written by Aubrey-Dawn Palmer
It has been said that “it takes a village to raise a child.” However, as it turns out, it also takes a village to raise, nurture, and mold an adult! The communities to which we belong throughout our lives have a vast impact on how we connect and relate to those around us. We NEED to feel like we belong to some sort of community in order to thrive as healthy humans. That is why we have decided to create this new category as a place to focus on how we fit into our larger community, how our communities impact us, and how we can strengthen our relationship with our “village”.

How do I fit into my community?

Reflect. Do you take your children to school every day? Are you involved in volunteer work? Do you affiliate with a political organization? Everyone’s place within their community is different, and sometimes within our large community, we belong to religious communities, support groups, volunteer organizations, etc. If you don’t feel that you have a place in your community, then now is a perfect time to start working on it.

What can I do to connect with those around me in a more meaningful way?

Lots of things! There are so many volunteer opportunities in your area. Guaranteed. Sometimes you just have to know where to look. Foster care and children’s homes, soup kitchens, hospitals, and nursing homes are great places to start. More simply, the person bagging your groceries, the banker and the mailman are all people that inadvertently impact your life. When was the last time you had a real conversation with one of them? Connecting with people is simply to choose to see them as people with feelings, problems, talents, hopes and fears as real as yours and then taking action.
Richard and Aubrey Dawn Palmer making dinner at the Ronald McDonald House in Salt Lake City, UT.

Why it is important to have a sense of community?

Taking action can be so small. It really is just about brief moments of connection. Those brief moments add up to change the lives of others, but also to change our own lives. They result in a greater sense of self worth and efficacy, a decrease in loneliness, depression and anxiety, and a more positive outlook on life. Connecting with others helps us look beyond ourselves.
More than that, the world is a place full of beauty, but also with a great deal of pain and loss. Everyone is fighting a battle and has a unique story. On an individual level, we all need to feel loved and appreciated, and connecting with people in our community contributes greatly to that. On a larger scale, community outreach and service creates a healthier, safer environment for children to learn and grow, the economy to survive, and families and individuals to succeed and thrive. It also increases personal accountability. When we each take accountability for the part we play in our community, we become a strong, unified group that can be an incredible force for good. I have seen this time and time again in my own life.

The world, and maybe even my immediate community, is a messed up place already. Why even bother?

That attitude contributes to the ‘messed up’ parts of the world! We ARE our community. Our community is a reflection of who we are, and we are a reflection of what our community looks like. A community that does no good, is filled with people who are unwilling to step up and do good. A community that is unified is full of people who strive for unity and contribute something of themselves in order to bring that about. Communities that promote change are filled with courageous people willing to step out of their comfort zones and do something for the greater good; not only for themselves but also for others. We “bother” because we care. We “bother” because if we believe that something is wrong, we take the initiative and work to change it. If something remains broken or messed up, it is only because people will not rally together and take the time and care required to fix it.
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Photo from pexels.com

So where do I start?

Well, the beauty is that we will be addressing this topic periodically in the future in this new commUNITY category. For now, think about what kinds of things you love to do. Maybe you love to cook, or you love yard work. Perhaps you love to talk with people. What kinds of skills you have? Maybe you have medical training, or maybe you are a good listener. Perhaps you are great at persuading others to contribute or step up to the plate. Then, think about how your passions and your skills can combine to make a difference in your community. And maybe while you’re thinking about that, you can donate blood. Or even do a Google search on volunteer opportunities in your area. Perhaps you can take a walk and get to know a neighbor, and help her clean out her flower bed, or offer to take a busy dad’s kids for a couple of hours so he can clean his kitchen and get a good nap. The possibilities are endless. The skill is learning to SEE the need, and then using that skill to reach out and connect.
Personal Practice 1This week, reach out in some small way to your community. Check out the suggestions above if you need ideas! You can also click here to search for current service opportunities in your area.

 

 

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Aubrey-Dawn Palmer was born and raised in Farmington, New Mexico, and she has a bachelor’s degree in family studies from Brigham Young University. She has two younger brothers and is married to her best friend, Richard. In addition to her research on relationships, human attachment, and healthy sexuality, Aubrey-Dawn volunteers with her husband as a teacher for the Strengthening Families Program, is a research director for a counseling center, and works as a home counselor at a residential treatment center.
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