Power Couples – The Power of Two

Written by Shirley Anderson

As human beings we collectively share the intrinsic desire to be close – to love and to be loved. Here at the Healthy Humans project, we are especially passionate about partner relationships as it is the foundation for a strong family unit as well as happiness and satisfaction throughout the life course.

Whether you are just wading into the waters of courtship, waist deep in the dating scene or have been married for decades, we’ve got you covered! Below are a few of the MANY topics we’ve discussed in the past for whatever stage of life you are in.

Making the Dating Scene More Meaningful

Dating can be both daunting and exhilarating. Remember to be courteous, be yourself, be creative and be kind and especially be patient! Love is spelled T-I-M-E and building a relationship that will last takes a lot of W-O-R-K. Take the time to truly get to know each other as you commit yourselves to one another.

Fun Fact: Did you know that the timing of sexual involvement in romantic relationships matters? Although 30-40% of couples report having sex within the first month of their relationship, researchers at Cornell University found that couples who were sexually involved early on in their courtship reported lesser relationship quality (Sassler, et al.,2010).

“Help! I’m New at This!” (For Newlyweds)

From the moment you say, “I do,” remember that you are creating something brand new. Your marriage is completely unique and you get to decide what it will look like. Avoid the pitfalls of comparison, and unrealistic expectations as they are both thieves of happiness! Although the honeymoon must end, the thrill of growing in love does not.

Fun Fact: Did you know that how you respond to your new spouse predicts both your immediate and future marital happiness? When newlywed conversations commence with anger and resentment, research shows strong correlations for future marital conflict and higher divorce rates. However, when discussions are met with kindness and understanding, your new marriage relationship will flourish as will your happiness and satisfaction.

Strengthening my Marriage

Remember that “falling out of love” is a myth! Love is a choice and we need to choose our spouse every single day. Often times the necessary tasks of daily living can distract us from what is most important- our marriage! Finding the balance between our relationship and other responsibilities can be challenging. A great place to start is by deliberately making time for each other to strengthen your relationship. When you are together, be sure to turn off autopilot and give your marriage the time and attention it deserves.

Fun Fact: Did you know that people with strong partner relationships actually live longer and have healthier lives? (Gallagher & Waite, 2000). In addition to increased longevity, married couples typically have more wealth and economic assets and have more satisfying sexual relationships than single or cohabiting individuals (Olson & Olson, 2000).

Read a “Power Couples” article with your partner to help you jumpstart a meaningful conversation. Identify a few ways you can strengthen your relationship! Set some goals and check in with each other periodically to evaluate how you’re doing.

References

Gallagher, Maggie., Waite, Linda. (2000) The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially. New York City, Doubleday.

Gottman, J. M., Coan, J., Carrere, S., & Swanson, C. (1998). Predicting Marital Happiness and Stability from Newlywed Interactions. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 60(1), 5. doi:10.2307/353438

Olson, D. H., & Olson, A. K. (2000) Empowering couples: Building on your strengths. Minneapolis: Life Innovations Inc.

Sassler, S., Addo, F. R., & Lichter, D. T. (2012). The Tempo of Sexual Activity and Later Relationship Quality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74, 708-725.

Shirley Anderson is a Utah native and the youngest of five children. She has been married to her sweetheart for three years, and together they have recently begun the journey of parenthood to a darling little girl and are currently living in Stuttgart, Germany. Shirley graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development.