In a world filled with media, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. There are so many options for what to watch, listen to, or read, and technology allows for so many different ways to access those options. Media and technology are also constantly evolving. The internet, smartphones, tablets, internet-connected televisions — none of these options even existed just a few decades ago. As a parent, it can feel like a daunting task to both keep up with the changes and to help children navigate the media world safely.
Media usage has both benefits and risks. It can be a great way to connect with friends and get needed support when you are struggling. It can be used to raise awareness of important issues around the world. It also allows for new ideas, research, and other information to be shared between millions and even billions of people.
On the other hand, overuse has been linked to obesity and poor sleep. Preoccupation with media usage can lead children to disengage with real-life, with regards to both in-person relationships as well as responsibilities like schoolwork. There are also the online dangers of cyberbullying and sexting, which can have severe consequences for a child’s mental health.
So parents, where do you even start? Here are some tips on how you as a parent can help your children get the best out of media:
1. Awareness of content.
There is both good and bad content available in all forms of media. Rating systems exist, but let’s be realistic here: they’re confusing. They aren’t standardized across different types of media, and it’s not always clear what a specific rating means. This means you need to be familiar with exactly what your child is being exposed to, not just what the rating is. One website that makes this easier is Common Sense Media: You can get details on educational value, positive messages, positive role models and representations, violence and scariness, sexual content, language, consumerism, and drinking, drugs, and even smoking. You can read reviews from parents and children including age suggestions. My favorite part about this site is that it includes all media types – movies, TV, YouTube, books, games, apps, and websites – some of which don’t even have official rating systems.
An extra tip for when ratings actually do come in handy: For TV shows, every episode is rated separately. So while you might approve of a show in general, there might be an episode or two you would want to avoid. To know which ones, it’s useful to know what the content labels mean for TV shows:
2. Limits for children ages 0-5 years old.
While the growing brains of this age group makes it so they may learn how to use smart devices (perhaps even quicker than you did), they also don’t have the ability yet to tell the difference between the real world and the digital world. And so, the American Academy of Pediatrics has very specific recommendations for technology use:
Limit screen use to video-chat only for children under 2 years old.
Limit screen use to 1 hour a day of high-quality media for children 2-5, and watch with your children to help explain things and apply it to the real world for them. They still don’t know a lot about the world, so while the connections may seem obvious to you, they could use some explanations. One particularly good program for this age is Sesame Street – they use research to make sure their episodes are developmentally appropriate!
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3. Limits for children age 6 years old and up.
For older children and teenagers, it is important to have consistent limits for time spent on media and the types of media used. When in doubt, make sure kids have enough time for sleep, physical activity, schoolwork, chores, etc. and then let media fill in the gaps. When media goes first, you risk not having enough time for the things important to health and real life responsibilities. Also, know how to use the parental controls on your devices and streaming sites, like Netflix, to limit exposure to inappropriate content. If you’re unsure how to use them, try Googling it – you are most likely not the only one who has had that question.
4. Media-free zones and times.
Media is pervasive and can be invasive. Help your children by providing times and spaces for them to disconnect. There are different options for how this can look in your family, such as phone-free family dinners or a TV-free playroom. In particular, devices and TVs should be kept out of bedrooms when children should be getting ready for bed and sleeping. This will help limit how media use impacts sleep and decrease unsupervised/unmonitored media use.
Photo by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash
5. Social Media.
Facebook is just the beginning. There are new social media sites and apps popping up every day, with varying degrees of popularity. Know which ones your child is using. Make sure the privacy settings are such that strangers won’t be able to track or target your child. Explain the safety concerns with using social media and the importance of not connecting with people they haven’t met before in real life. And equally important, teach them how to behave online. It is easy to be rude online when you can’t see the other person’s face. A good standard to set is if you wouldn’t say or do it in person, you shouldn’t do it online either. Teach them that they’re never really anonymous and what they say online can last forever — so make sure it’s something that they want to stick around or it might end up haunting them.
Bonus Tip: Using the same social media that your child does can help you to understand what it is and what it can mean to them. And it can encourage them to think twice before posting something if they know you’re going to see it.
6. Above all, teach your child how to judge media for themselves.
You’re not always going to be able to protect them from the negativity that is out there. Start when your kids are young with age-appropriate conversations. If they see something on TV that you don’t want them to copy, use it as a conversation-starter, an opportunity to talk about why what they saw was wrong and how they should behave instead. Teach them to be active consumers – questioning and critiquing what they see, not just absorbing it.
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There you have it. Six practical tips for parenting in the digital age. Just remember, these tips aren’t always easy to implement. No parent is perfect, and children love to push limits. You may not always be doing as well as you’d like with limiting and monitoring your children’s media usage, but you can always start again tomorrow.
And for those of you who may be wondering where to start with implementing these tips, check out the Family Media Use Plan from the American Academy of Pediatrics. You enter how old your children are, and it will walk you through the steps of deciding what boundaries you want to set for your children’s (and your own) media usage.
Mariah Ramage was born and raised in Bellevue, Washington with two older brothers. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor of Science in Family Life and Human Development, and she is currently living in the Seattle area. Mariah is currently experiencing the joys of being a nanny to three-year-old boy-girl twins while she prepares to pursue graduate work in Human Development and Family Studies. She is passionate about mental health, abuse recovery, purposeful parenting, and healthy media usage.
